Happy but Sad

I was happy but now I am sad. So sad that I couldn't help ...my tears rolled down my cheek last nite. My dance instructor selected a few of us to join dance competition end of this year. Ballroom dancing for beginners' level. My dance partner told me he couldn't join...at first...due to lack of confidence, he just started less than 2 months. But he has the potential and talent. John pairs us up.

Yesterday, while persuading him....I asked "Is it b'coz yr gf jealous?"
He said "Actually I did talk to her, it seems like she doesn't quite bless me to join"

I was like "Ohh........"

I asked him to think about it again and how much it meant to me. I thought it was ok....but...nope. I really really want to join this. And so far, he is the only guy that match my height. And we can both dance comfortably.

Well, I know I cannot force him la. I just pray to God that something right will happen.

Yearning to be Self Employed

Lately I find myself more attached to Meow. It feels like when we first dated. Of coz, there are still concerns to think about…but I just try not to think too much. I've got so many things to do…so little time. I hope I can find a job which pays me enough to save and survive. I am so tired with working till late or on weekends…time where I could spend working my beads / read / relax.

I am so eager to just quit and do a small business….sell something…I dun mind being a hawker, but I cannot do it alone, or should I say too afraid to do it alone. What can I sell, where? Need how much to start ? With so many things in my head…and my tiring/stressful office job right now, I can barely concentrate.

If only I can get paid by just Zzzzz and dreaming :P

My performance review

Ok, let's see how I fair since my last post :

do more of my beads - ya ya, so I did, only for those urgent orders, none yet for my upcoming sale at UPR this Sunday 27, May. Chia lat liao...

update my blog - ya, I did, once a fortnight? I have to keep up, gambate~~!

read my favourite books/magazines/newspapers - this I can proudly say yes, I did - I finished Why Men Love Bitches By Sherry Argov, very very interesting book, a must for all ladies ;)

sleep more (current record approx. 4 hrs daily) - ok ok, I slept more…5 hours lo. ONE hour extra also considered right.

go out more - This one confirm I did :) Makan a lot also. Top favourites - Esplanade Rojak/fruits, 'White Tom Yam' and Starbucks/Borders at Queensbay.

catch up with friends/family/relatives - aiya, a bit guilty on this, only keeping to my normal group so far.

clean my room (this is a must ! my room is a total mess) - Partially done, pai seh !!

watch some tv programmes (i almost forgot TV exists) - er…still no improvement, but hey, I bought a dozen DVDs leh…emm…I think will take me few years to watch all, coz I still have VCDs (ya, that time DVD not so in yet) untouched for 7 years !)

search for new job - I think I did click one or two 'Apply this Job' few weeks ago.

I am back

It's been a long long time since I neglected this blog. Well, so many things happened...so many things have changed. I am not back to single life but yet not so single.
Most of the time, I am confused and not sure what I really want. There were times I am pretty sure of what I want but due to certain reasons, circumstances, obstacles...u know, it's difficult to get what I really hope or want. I guess I am not the only one and many of us face the same problem.

For now, I am just trying to focus on my goal to earn more money and hopefully not to be tied up with my current job...working on weekends and sleepless nights. I hope I can really have my own business in the near future and not depend on office job.

I must find time to :

do more of my beads
update my blog
read my favourite books/magazines/newspapers
sleep more (current record approx. 4 hrs daily)
go out more
catch up with friends/family/relatives
clean my room (this is a must ! my room is a total mess)
watch some tv programmes (i almost forgot TV exists)
search for new job

I think 9 in the list is quite a lot...dun even know if i can cover up to 3 !

Wish me luck !